Food & Football: Miami Hurricanes Kickoff 2017

Whether you’re here to find new recipes, check out the family adventures, or hear my take on Miami Hurricanes Football, thank you for taking this journey with us.

Welcome to the kickoff for the 2017 edition of the “Food and Football” blog.  The 2016 football season was the blogs inaugural year and there were a lot of lessons learned on and off the field that will make this year even better.  For the new recruits to “Food and Football’, let me catch you up!  Being from the south, (Georgia), Summer does not precede Fall or Autumn. The only season that we recognize after Summer is football season.  When this season comes around, there is a perfect storm of the 3 Fs of Family, Food and Football.  This blog captures the good food and great family moments with our two sons, “Osito” and “Deuce”, as we follow my wife (Mami) and I’s alma mater, The University of Miami Hurricanes aka The U.  So whether you’re here to find new recipes, check out the family adventures, or hear my take on Miami Hurricanes Football, thank you for taking this journey with us.

The Food: 

Shttle U (close)
Space Shuttle Discovery (STS- 133) on the Launch Pad (2011)

The food is inspired by the Hurricanes’ football schedule.  Since the Air Force has moved us to Texas, we aren’t able to attend games like we did as students or at my first duty station in Cape Canaveral, FL.  With the location change and the added challenge of traveling with two kids under 2, every Saturday we bring the tailgate into our home.  The idea is to create a “Game Meal” that represents The U’s opponent that week and as we feast, hopefully, the canes are feasting on the field.  The primary influences on the meals are the opponent’s mascot, school name/nickname, or a signature dish from the location of the school, like I did for the Pitt Panthers.  However, the meal inspiration can have a petty aspect to it, but that is usually reserved for rivalry games like FSU.

Coming up with game meals last year did become challenging since a lot of the school’s mascots or names had nothing to do with food.  I found myself relying heavily on school location, which is fine, except the majority of opponents were in the state of North Carolina (App State Mountaineer, Duke Blue Devils and NC State Wolf Pack).  This limited the game meals to either sweet potatoes (state vegetable) or Carolina style BBQ.  But on the positive side, with some loose interpretation of mascots, we had the opportunity to explore some meals that aren’t a staple in our diet like lamb (UNC Tar heels), quail (FAU Owls) and tuna steaks (UVA Cavaliers).  This year, the plan is to expand the game meal inspiration to include the opponent, the home team and our family adventures.

The Family: 
Second only to my faith in Jesus, my family is everything to me.  Nothing makes me happier than spending time, sharing a meal, and watching football with them.  This could be the family I was born into, married into, or those friends that have become family.  In this blog, family serves an important role for two reasons.  First, without family you can’t have weekend adventures.  This is the perfect time for us to explore the city and surrounding areas of our current duty station, Houston.

Houston
Photo from our Maternity Shoot around Houston.

Last year we saw trips to the Houston Zoo, College Station, Tx and Miami.  This football season holds our last few months in the Houston area, and there are a few adventures we need to check off the list before leaving.  As an added bonus, this will be Deuce’s first season, so it has to be a memorable one off the field and hopefully on.  Second, without family how can the “Game Meal” be rated?  As it is on the field, so must it be in the kitchen, where there are losers and winner.  The rating is a standard 1-10 on presentation but mostly taste, but the true litmus test is when people go back for more.  My regular panel includes Mami and Osito, but special guests will show from time to time.

The Football:Sleep
While the food has been good and family is always great, the football, well, it has been
“a snooze fest” dating back to my college days.  I was going to use this time to talk about the past and everything The U hasn’t done, like play for an Conference Championship (in 14 years), beat FSU (in 8 years) or won 10+ games (in 14 years), which is a far cry from being relevant, much less a contender like in the glory days.  But no sense in crying over spilled whiskey.  Plus, if Mark Richt’s first year as HC is a sign, the future is bright and the “swag” appears to be returning.  Like with the food, the football will also receive a rating and throughout the year we will gauge the team against my predictions and the Hurricane Standard Checklist (see below).  I don’t call out individuals, because as a father, I don’t think it’s fair to criticize these kids that are playing a game.  However, I will highlight position groups, but remember football is the ultimate team sport.

                    2016 Recap: 
Last year, in my opinion, was a great start to the Richt era.  After a 4-0 start to the season,Kaden 2017.JPG the team faced some turbulence and had a 0-4 stretch that included losses against the eventual division winner, VT, and FSU.  In years past, the team would implode after facing this type of adversity, but not this team, not this coach.  They rallied and finished the season strong with a 5 game win streak capped off by the first bowl win in 10 years.  The streak and bowl victory will serve as momentum into the 2017 season and inch them closer to upholding the standard set by the Godfather of Miami football, Coach Schnellenberger, who coached Richt during his college days.  Overall, it is easy to see the potential of the canes as we saw a complete turnaround in defense from being ranked 69th under the old regime to 20th last year.  On offense, though things were slow at times, you could see the influx of young talent.

                    2017 Prediction: 
Bottom Line Up Front (BLUF), the 2017 Miami Hurricanes will have a 10-2 regular season.  I’m not a gambler but Vegas has them at 9 wins (cough cough take the over).  My process of prediction is broken down into 3 areas: internal analysis, external analysis and scheduling.

                              Internal Analysis:
The foundation for success this year will start with a defense that gives “unbelievable effort”.  The entire front 7 is returning and the staff did a great job of reloading at CB with help from the grad transfer and junior college transfers after 2 departed for the NFL.  Offensively, the story line for the entire off season has been who will be the quarterback.  While everyone knows the QB position is important, it has been proven in college football that you can win with just a “game manager” as long as you have a strong run game and defense, see Alabama Crimson Tide.  These are two things the Canes should have and then you add in the talented WRs and you have the making of a solid team.  However, if you don’t have a solid O-Line, it wouldn’t matter if you had Peyton Manning at QB.  Over the past few years, poor blocking resulting in limited time for the QB and no space to run has plagued the Canes.  The consistent play of the O-line will determine how far The U goes this year regardless of which of the 4 candidates win the starting job.

Kaleb
Don’t sleep on the Canes

     External analysis: 
Once the schedule is released, I will break it down into the following sections: Should Win, Toss Up and Probably Lose.

Should Win:  This section is comprised of your annual cupcake game, non-Power 5 teams, and teams that have been struggling lately or doesn’t match up well against the Canes.  There are 7 teams that fit this category, Bethune-Cookman, Arkansas State, Toledo, Duke, GT, Syracuse and UVA. While we should win these games, any given Saturday, if you don’t bring it you will take an L.  GT can be tricky with their triple option especially if they get a QB that can throw.

Toss Up:  This section is mostly filled with rivalry games, but there are some wild cards that can go in this section.  In rivalry games, records don’t matter and one inch or the bounce of the ball can be the difference.  This year, I see 5 toss up games, FSU, VT, UNC, Notre Dame and Pittsburgh.  While FSU is a given, there may be some “side eye” on the other 4 games.  Three of them, UNC, ND and VT, will be breaking in new QBs and Pitt hasn’t had much of an offense. However, VT always has a solid defense and between them and UNC, the Canes have found a way to lose to at least one of them.  ND had a terrible 4-8 season last year, but I expect them to be much better with their HC on the hot seat.  By the way, one of their 4 wins was against the Canes.  I will explain the Pitt game during the scheduling section.Schedule

Scheduling:  The U’s schedule is very favorable and most of the key games are late in the year which bodes well for breaking in a new QB.  The exception is a week 3 match up in Tallahassee (Talla-trash-see) vs FSU.  Note that FSU will be one week removed from playing Bama in week 1 so there could be some hangover from that depending the outcome.  Looking at the other toss-up games, ND and VT are at home. They are on the road at UNC, but they will be coming off a tough trip to VT.  The “at” Pittsburgh game in late November will be intriguing if the cold weather plays a role.

When it’s all said and done, I see the Hurricanes checking off the following from the Standard Checklist: 10+ wins, beat other rivals, win division, and win bowl game.  The wild card is beating FSU. If they win in week 3 the Canes will take a higher trajectory for the season, but if not they may get another shot in the ACC championship.  This means winning the ACC can get checked off and keep in mind it’s hard to beat a team twice.  But if everyone stays healthy and solid QB play after being eased into college football the first half of the season, the sky is the limit.

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   The Hurricane Standard Checklist  
◻ Beat FSU – If Miami had a 1 win season, it better be this game
◻ Beat Other Rivals on Schedule – 2017: Notre Dame and VT
◻ Win 10+ Games – Double digit wins (for most teams) starts the convo of a “good year”
◻ Win Conference Division – ACC Coastal: includes Duke, UNC, VT, GT, Pitt and UVA
◻ Win Conference Championship – ACC: vs winner of Atlantic Division
◻ Win Bowl Game – Hopefully the CFP Playoff semifinals or New Year’s Six Bowl
◻ Win National Championship – Why they play the game
◻ Undefeated Season – The icing on the cake

U at night

Food & Football Bowl Week 14 2016: The U vs West Virginia

My Beloved Osito,

After a month long hiatus from Miami football, The U is back in action for bowl season.  This time of year is bittersweet for all college football fans.  While you get a month of nonstop action with some intriguing match ups across conferences and the College Football Playoffs, it signals the end.  The U’s final game will take place at the Russell Athletic Bowl in Orlando against an old foe from their Big East days, the West Virginia Mountaineers.  Just like the The U, we also spent the end of our “season” in Florida.  We traveled to Miami to be with your grandmother (Wella) and Aunt (Titi) and the rest of Mami’s family for the holidays.

The game meal for this match up, honestly, had nothing to do with the game.  Partly because their mascot, a Mountaineer, and the state aka the Mountain State, did not intrigue me to explore food possibilities.  However, the main reason was because your Jonathan KimbleTiti made a request.  With that request, Chicken and Waffles were on the menu and a brunch style game meal felt right being in Miami.

The U came into the game on a 4 game win streak and it felt like they were intent on earning their first bowl win in 10 years.  Sadly, I was a freshman the last time The U won a bowl game.  For us, game day began with a Miami style “Weekend Adventure” to South Beach for your Wella’s birthday.  The game was on a Wednesday, but it falls under the theme.

To start the game, there were some good and bad moments.  The bad revolved around the offense’s inability to do anything and they were out of sync in every aspect going Brunch pose“3 and out” on most of their drives.  However, the good part was an impressive defensive effort, despite no help from the offense.  They were able to hold a high powered offense, ~490 yards and 31 points a game, to 7 in the half.  The adventure started with brunch at the “Local House”, picked by Mami.  It was a really nice and intimate spot, but sitting intimately with an 18 month child that wants to touch everything makes for an adventure in itself (looking at you).  Despite having to remove utensils, cups and the flower center piece out of your reach and you trying to throw your toys into Titi’s coffee, you embraced the Miami brunch life effortlessly.

Bike view BayThings finally turned around for the offense when they exploded for 21 straight points with 6:30 left in the 2nd quarter.  The U went into the half leading 21 to 7.  Following brunch, we made our way to the beach through the breathtaking South Pointe Park.  Watching you on the beach for the first time was, well, hilariously memorable.  Initially, you refused to put your feet in the sand, but by the end you didn’t want leave.  Add in cruising around in your ‘Smartrike’ bike and running through the splash pad to remove the sand and you have the making of an epic weekend adventure.

Splash Pad 1

The second half of the game was pure bliss.  The U was able to dominate in all three phases of the game and cruised to a 31 to 14 win.  While the victory was very nice and The U finally ended the season on a high note, the victory meant a great deal more to the future of the program.  For the first time in a long time, it feels like “The U is Back!” (::inhales::) Let me not get ahead of myself, this game showed that there is a real possibility that The U is on the right track to being relevant in the ACC and on the national stage for years to come.  Much like the game, the weekend adventure ended on a high note with a game meal that rates a 7 out 10 and this time there were more judges.  It wasn’t higher because I couldn’t get YOU to eat the waffle, instead you would put it in your mouth and then throw it on the floor.  My guess was because it didn’t have syrup on it.

Waffle on the floor

This marks the end of the 2017 season of “Food & Football”.  This year’s season we saw 4 Facesthe good, the bad and the ugly both on and off the field and it showed.  From teeth getting knocked out and win streaks (on the field) to weekend adventures, quality family time and good and not so good food (off the field).  Next year we’ll be praying and working towards better things on but most importantly off the field.  The countdown begins to September 2018.

Ingredients
Waffles:
1. While holding a shifter over a large bowl, add 2 cups of flour, 1 teaspoon (tsp) baking powder, ½ tsp baking soda, 3 tablespoon (TBS) sugar and another cup of flour on top.
2. In another bowl melt 2 oz (= 4 TBS = 1/2 stick) of butter and mix together 15 oz of milk or buttermilk, 3 eggs and splash of vanilla.
3. Pour the liquid mix into the dry ingredients and mix slightly. (I don’t know if it makes a difference, but I pour the liquid in so I don’t make a bigger mess with the flour lest your Mami chop my head off).
4. Let the batter set for ~5 min and then spoon/pour into a hot waffle iron. Cover with nonstick spray if needed, and cook for specified time.

Chicken:
1. Take washed chicken wings and/or breast and cut the breast in half and (if desired) the drumette from the flat. I’m not sure if those are official terms, but that’s what I’ve always heard
2. Marinate in Italian salad dressing, Cajun seasoning, Adobo and a little pepper. The longer the better.
3. Preheat oil to 400 degrees in a skillet. I use an electric skillet and take it outside. (The first time Mami made me, but now I do it because I prefer to not have the house wreak of fried food smell for days.
4. Take two bowls and add flour, Cajun seasoning and dried parsley to one and in the other bowl add an egg, a splash of milk, and hot sauce.
5. Take the chicken and dredge it in the flour and then in the egg mixture, then back in the flour.
6. When you have a few place them in the oil until cooked thoroughly and golden.

Bike Trick

Love you to “Infinity…and Beyond”
@outer_space_dad

Food & Football Week 13 2016: The U vs Duke

My Beloved Osito,

It’s week 13 and with this being the last game of the regular season, we can all see the light at the end of the tunnel of the 2016 NCAA Football season.  The grand finale will be a match up against the Duke Blue Devils in Durham, North Carolina.  This is an intmiracleriguing game solely based on how last year’s game ended with the “miracle“. It was a crazy last second play that ended with some officiating controversy.  The wildest thing about this game was not the play, but the backlash from the media after the game.  Many across the country were calling for The U to forfeit the game or for the ACC to give the win to Duke.  Anyone who has played sports or been around sports knows that you can’t focus on one play or call and ignore all the other calls throughout the game.  The U isn’t the first team to win (or lose) on a controversial call, yet this is the first time I’ve seen the ‘mob’ calling for a team to void a win.  It just feeds the narrative that the NCAA and the media is not very fond of The U, but I digress.

For the game meal, I explored a few options. The first was the “Devil” aspect of Duke’s mascotmascot named after the French soldiers of WWI, “Les Diables Bleus”.  This led me to explore devil’s food cake or maybe even loaded deviled eggs, but that didn’t intrigue me.  I reverted back to the state vegetable of North Carolina, the good ole sweet potato.  The game was right after Thanksgiving and everyone was shifting into the Christmas mood and I was craving a homemade pie.  It was a perfect match because I really wanted a sweet potato pie like I used to have at your great grandmother’s during the holidays.  The icing on the cake, or pie if you will, was that we also had a Weekend Adventure planned to Santa’s Wonderland in College Station, TX.

The game, with all the intrigue leading up to kickoff, was basic fundamental football.  You could tell The U had no intentions of putting the game in the hands of the referees again and took care of business.  Despite a very tight game in the first half, 16 -14 UM, The U ran away with it in the 3rd  quarter which gave more playing time to 2nd and 3rd string players in the last quarter.

The pie was very basic in execution as well.  I thought it was a complicated endkaden-patatoeeavor, but after talking with my mom, it is a simple dessert to make.  The game ended with a score of 40 to 21 and the U closed the regular season on a 4 game win streak.  The pie, coupled with all the nostalgia, ranked an 8 of 10 for me and it was Mami’s first time having sweet potato pie.  Next time I make a sweet potato pie, there will be a few tweaks I would like to make to enhance the experience.  For example, making the crust from scratch and adding a crunchy element of some type on top. But overall, this one was really good.  The U’s next game is a few weeks away as we wait for the start of the “College Football Bowl Season”.

crust-and-patatoe

Ingredients:

1.  Take two sweet potatoes and place them in the oven at 350 degrees until the peel starts to blacken and pull away from the flesh of the potatocooked-patatoe

2.  After the potatoes cool, peel and place in a mixing bowl

3.  Add brown sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg

4.  In a separate bowl, mix a cup of milk, two eggs, melted butter, and vanilla

5.  With the mixer on, slowly add liquid mixture into the potatoes and mix thoroughly

6.  Add mixture into the pie crust and sprinkle the top with a little cinnamon

oven-ready

7.  Bake in the oven at 350 degrees for ~30 min or until filling is set and the crust is brown

Love you to “Infinity…and Beyond”

@Outer_space_dad

Food & Football Week 11 2016: The U vs UVa

My Beloved Osito,

After getting back into the winners column in week 10, The U looked to start a new winning streak against the Virginia Cavaliers, UVa, on the road in Charlottesville.  UVa’s football team has been one of the worse teams in the ACC, statistically, the past decade winning 2 to 3 (2.6 average) of their 8 conference games a year.  Virginia Cavaliers NCAA Football Vs William & MaryDespite their woes, UVa has been a tricky opponent for The U winning 6 of the last 10 games.  Speaking of tricky, the game meal almost caused me to lose my mind trying to figure out a plan.  For this
meal, the mascot route was a dead end.  UVa’s mascot, a Cavalier, is a mounted horseman named CavMan and through research, I found that this was the name given to supporters of King Charles I in England’s Civil War (http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/british/civil_war_revolution/choosingsides_01.shtml) in 1642.  After the mascot route, I started down the road of UVa’s nickname, Wahoos.  However, the nickname was apparently derived from the schools rally cry in the 1890s.  So, here I was, with no good leads, and game day quickly approaching.  As Mami and I laid in bed, she asked me what my plan was for the game and I told her that I had nothing but information about King Charles’ supporters and a rally cry.  As I told her about the rally cry, she looked over and calmly stated “isn’t a Wahoo a type of fish?” (it is!).  And so the game meal was set.

The game did fish-marketnot start off well at all.  After a solid defensive stand on the opening drive, on The U’s first offensive play, UVa snatched the ball out of the receiver’s hands for an interception.  It appeared that The U’s bad luck with UVa was go to continue for another year.  My luck with the game meal did not start out well either.  Living in Houston, we are close to the bay where there are a ton of fish markets.  After doing my due diligence online, I found a fish market in Kemah that I thought had exactly what I needed (http://m.baybrookseafood.com/?url=http://www.baybrookseafood.com%2F#2804).  However, I was living the reality that you can’t believe everything you see on the internet.  After visiting 5 other markets in the area, with no luck, and talking to one of the owners, I realized that none of them sold Wahoo fish because it was mostly found in the Pacific and Caribbean waters.

WAHOO

Needing to adjust to this sudden bad fortune, I remembered that Mami was having pregnancy cravings for tuna salad so I decided to make grilled tuna.  Much like my quick adjustment, The U changed the course of the game by scoring the next 17 points of the game, but after another UVa TD, The U had a slim 3 point lead at halftime.  The U completely dominated the second half and with a 34-14 win started a 2 game winning streak.  The grilled tuna was amazing as well with a 9 out 10 rating.  This rating was despite the fact that half way through the cooking process Mami informed me that she was craving canned tuna and not fresh tuna steaks.  Next week, The U faces the Wolf Pack of North Carolina State.

Ingredients
Fish

  1. Take tuna and clean and cut into 2-3 in cuts of
    not done by the market
  2.  Coat the tuna in olive oil (so it will not stick on the grill) and place in the m
    arinate/sauce
  3. On direct heat, cook for 3-4 minutes on each side
  • It is safe to eat under cooked tuna (like sushi), but I cooked this one thoroughly because Mami was pregnant with Deuce


Marinade/sauce

  1. Add two table spoons of mayonnaise (also helps sticking) and 1 table spoon of Greek yogurt in a food processor
  2. Add minced garlic, dried onions, cajun seasoning, lemon juice and a pinch of black pepper
  3. Add a handful of lightly chopped dill and mix well
  • Note: I marinade the tuna in this mixture and I also used it as a sauce with the fish and air fryer fries (yea again)

meal

Love you to “Infinity…and Beyond”

@Outer_space_dad

Food & Football: Week 2 2016 The U vs. FAU

My Beloved Osito,

With Week 1 in the books, The U switched focus to a pseudo in-state rival with the Owls of Florida Atlantic University.  The rivalry aspect is only added because the rosters of both teams are full of South Florida players that have played each other since Pee Wee league.  However, the talent level has been significantly better at UM than FAU and I hope that has continued.  Another rivalry aspect is the fact that the “Godfather” of UM football, Howard Schnellenberger, (you saw him in the 30 for 30 episode we watched) founded the football program at FAU.  While The U was preparing for the game, I had the daunting task of trying to figure out how to make “owl” the center of the game meal.  While I knew it couldn’t possibly be good to consume and possibly illegal, I did my due diligence and tried to see if owl meat was something you could purchase.  I quickly switched my focus when I started typing “owl meat for” and the word “magic” auto populated as the second most searched phrase after “sale”.  I nailed it down to two options for the game which were Cornish hen and Quail; despite the fact your mom called it food from the “Mid-west” prairie lands.  I could only find quail legs at the store so I ran a read option play and got both, Cornish hen and quail.  The hen was a good choice since your mom is not always up for trying the “exotic” things I make.  Both dishes came out just like the football game, amazing!  The hen I grilled as “beer can” chicken with indirect heat and the quail legs were grilled traditionally.  This was my first time eating, and obviously cooking, quail and I was oddly surprised that it tasted just like chicken.  I know that sounds cliché, but facts are facts. I’ll give the food a 9 out 10 and we won 38-10. The next game is against the Appalachian State Mountaineers.  Not sure what I’m supposed to do with the whole mountaineer theme.

Ingredients and Directions:

Cornish Hen:

  1. Fully thaw and clean the Cornish Hen then coat in olive oil and marinate overnight. My key marinating ingredients are Cajun Seasoning (greatest seasoning ever made, but if it isn’t Tony Chachere’s don’t trust it), garlic, black pepper, Adobo (your mom’s Hispanic roots got me hooked on this), Dale’s Seasoning (my liquid component) and beer.
  2. Remove hen and pour beer marinade mixture back into the can, ~3/4 full. Place hen on top of the can (see picture below). I patted the hen dry and added a mix of brown sugar and Cajun seasoning to the outside to get a good crust as it cooks.
  3. The fire should be made on the opposite end of chimney to allow some smoke to cross the meat as it leaves. (Your mom is not a huge fan of smoke flavor so this method satisfies my craving).
  4. Place the hen on opposite side of burning coals with its back facing the heat and rotate every 25-35 minutes pending on how hot the grill. My temperature ranged from 325-400 degrees.
  5. You should be able to tell when the hen is done, but the internal temperature should be ~165-175 degrees in the breast and thighs and the beer mixture will keep the hen moist.

img_4679

img_4682

Quail Legs:

  1. Fully unthaw and clean the quail legs then coat in olive oil and marinate overnight. See step 1 of Cornish Hen.
  2. Place on grill. Since they are really small I placed them on the top rack of the grill.
  3. Cook for ~5-8 minutes on each side

img_4747

Love you to “Infinity…and Beyond”

@Outer_space_dad

Food & Football: Week 1 2016 The U vs FAMU

My Beloved Osito,

It’s the most wonderful time of the year again, leaves are starting to change colors, the temperature is starting to drop (not really, in Houston, Tx it’s still 90+ degrees), and most importantly it’s college football season and more specifically Miami Hurricanes’ football season.  As you get older you will quickly realize that this is also the time of year that my adventures in the kitchen and out on the grill peak.  Every Saturday (sometimes Thursday’s depending on game schedules) each adventure is centered on the team The U will be facing that week. I’m sure I’m not the originator of this idea, but I have made it my own.  The idea is that we get to “feast” on the opponent while we watch The U “feast” on them on the field.  The first time we started this was in 2013 at our tailgate for U of Florida game with your Godfather, his first time UM game. I grilled alligator tail that day, the other (other) white meat, and we watched the “upset” of #12 ranked UF.  Fast forward to 2016, the kickoff of the Coach Mark Richt era (I grew up with him when he coached the “home” team UGA for 15 the past years) and hopefully the start of the next 30 for 30 “The U: Part 3 The Dynasty Returns”.  You missed this game since kickoff was at 5ct and you were already in bed after we went to the #15 U of Houston vs. #3 U of Oklahoma game. This is another story in itself. On this day, The U faced the Florida Agricultural and Mechanical University (FAMU) Rattlers. I know what you’re thinking, “dad did you grill snake meat?” Well no, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. I found a place online (http://www.exoticmeatmarkets.com/rasnme.html) that sold Eastern Diamondback rattlesnake meat, but for 3 pounds at $299, I had to rethink my priorities. I ended up going the “cupcake” route. The term “cupcake” is used to describe a team that is knowingly inferior and not at the same talent level by design as its opponent. In college football, this is a team from the Football Championship Subdivision (FCS). Basically, big football programs pay these FCS schools millions of dollars to play them as a “warmup game”.  For this game, I had to call your grandmama to get her homemade red velvet cake recipe to use for my cupcakes. The recipe was oddly simple except for 2 secret ingredients that I was told to keep under lock and key. You’ve never seen secrecy until you ask an old schooler her cake recipe. It’s under tighter security than the Secretary of State’s Benghazi emails (you’ll have to google that).  Naturally, as with all recipes, I made my own tweaks for game purposes like using green food coloring for the cake instead of red, and adding yellow and red food coloring to the cream cheese frosting to get orange for the FAMU team colors.  I also injected the cupcakes with melted white chocolate to ensure they were moist.  I only ate like 2 since it would counter my efforts of getting a 6 pack of abs before I turn 30, and then I took the rest to church.  Overall I’ll give them a 6.5, but as your mom said “they just weren’t [grandmama’s]”.  Oh by the way, we won 70-3. Next game is against the Florida Atlantic University Owls. I’ll have to check the exotic meat market to see if Owl meat is even legal to consume, yikes!

Ingredients and Directions:

  1. Beat 2 eggs, 1.5 cups oil, 1.5 cups sugar, and 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
  2. Mix 2.5 cups all-purpose flour, 1 teaspoon baking soda and 2 tablespoons of *******
  3. Add step 2 to step 1 with 1 cup buttermilk (gradually)
  4. Add 1 teaspoon vanilla, 1 bottle of desired food coloring and 3-5 *********
  5. Pre-heat oven to 350 and cake: grease and flour pan: fill cups 2/3
  6. Cook 15-20 min (varies per oven) or until done. Use toothpick to check
  7. Frosting: mix 8 ounces (1 pack) cream cheese and 4 ounces (1 stick) real butter
    1. Add 1 box powdered sugar until desired consistency
    2. Add 1 cup pecans; (don’t add if you’re still allergic to nuts)

img_4704Love you to “Infinity…and Beyond”

@Outer_space_dad